Sunday, February 5, 2012
I’m ready to battle, but also waiting for the judge to order my ex and I to mediation. I believe that we will be able to settle everything in mediation, but we have to go first. I find out that my ex is planning to come to Florida for our court date in February and she is planning on seeing the kids and doing as she pleases. I texted her and told her I knew she was coming and also told her not to assume anything. No one consulted me and therefore there will be no time sharing until we go to court and redo our parenting plan. She was not happy with this being that she had already purchased airline tickets and was coming.
A week or so went by. I met with my attorney, prepared the necessary paperwork for court, did my legal research and was ready to file subpoenas on Friday, January 27, 2012. I worked all day long and did not get out of mediation in time to get to the court house and to get the subpoenas to the process server, but there were greater forces at hand. When I arrived home there was a letter from the court. I was thrilled. Finally, the order to mediation. I ripped open the envelope only to find that the Magistrate cancelled our hearing. (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/4am12j) WHAT? You have got to be kidding me! I got right on the phone with the court and talked with the judicial assistant. She told me that due to a filing technicality back in November, the Magistrate cancelled the hearing. Frustrated, I asked her why in the world could he not have told us in November or December when we were in front of him. Why wait until 3 weeks before our hearing? She said there was nothing she could do and hung up.
I threw my hands in the air and this was the perfect time to get angry, stomp around, throw an adult tantrum, curse, yell, scream, bitch and complain and turn right around and refile everything immediately to keep this battle waging. Instead, I stood in my bedroom, looked to the sky and said, “Ok God, what’s up?” I was at a total loss. I knew that my ex hadn’t received this letter of cancellation yet since she was out of state, so I decided to text her. I told her that the Magistrate cancelled our hearing, denied my motion to mediate since there was no hearing and that was that. She was furious as she had already bought tickets to come to Florida for court and now there was no court to come to. She was coming and wanted to see the kids and I had already told her that she would not see the kids until were went to court. There is now no court so there is no seeing the kids. I waited a day or so and then God spoke. He said to offer to mediate with her using iChat Mediation. I emailed her and said the only way she could see the kids is if we came up with our own settlement agreement and parenting plan PRIOR to her arrival. She agreed and so we scheduled to meet online through iChat Mediation on Monday, January 30, 2012.
I have to stop here and say something about iChat Mediation. To date, there is a 100% settlement rate using the online mediation platform through iMediate Inc. As the mediator, I have seen time and time again that meeting online for mediation takes the emotion out of the equation and it creates an atmosphere where parties are more at ease and able to communicate and come to an agreement. What is usually difficult in mediation is when two people that are fighting are sitting in the same room across the table from one another the emotions are high. From the comfort, safety, and convenience of your own home, you are now able to have your mediation, settle your differences, resolve your problems and move on with your lives. The true test of iChat Mediation was now with my ex and I. After all that we had been through and still experience, could iChat Mediation take our emotion out of the equation and could we have a conversation and craft a new agreement?
We met online and in one hour and thirty-seven minutes, we had a new settlement agreement and parenting plan. We only raised our voices 1 time each during our session which was truly amazing! We signed our agreement electronically and on Tuesday, January 31, 2012 I filed it with the court. (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/oj0sx3)
So now what? I will continue to mediate and continue to inform others of the adversities that I have experienced. What about justice many have asked me? I can only tell you that after 37 appearances before the court and hundreds and hundreds of pages of documentation, our judicial system is broken and it REFUSES to hold people accountable in family court. Few people may get some accountability here and there depending on the judge or magistrate, but overall, justice will NOT be found in a court of law. So if not in a court of law, then where? I believe it will be found in mediation. Your best day for a settlement will be in your mediation, not litigation. It is anyone's guess what the magistrate or the judge will do. As you have seen with my case, the magistrates and judges do their own thing and enforcing the law is not one of them.
At iMediate Inc., we get it. Mediation is not something that we have learned in a book. It is not an idea, a hypothesis or theory that we are going to test out on families in crisis. We have lived it and continue to live it on a daily basis. We get it! We can help you! We are here when you need us so please do not ever hesitate to call. Call us morning, noon or night. Call us 7 days a week at 877.822.1479 because family crisis does not happen only 9-5 Monday through Friday.
iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at http://www.ichatmediation.com or call us at 877-822-1479.
In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”