The Controlled Burn

Firefighters commonly conduct what is called a controlled burn. They conduct these controlled burns for 2 reasons. The first reason is to decrease the likelihood of a serious hotter fire. The second reason is to prepare land for planting.

As a family law mediator, my job is also two fold. I am here to facilitate communication between the parties and also to guide the parties through the necessary legal paperwork. 

If I was to only try to take the parties through the legal paperwork and not allow the parties to communicate and express their feelings, then I may never complete the mediation process. Like the firefighters, I must conduct my own controlled burn.

Every conflict has the same core issues. Parties come to me feeling disrespected, disenfranchised, disvalued and/or dismissed. I must allow the parties to express their feelings, but I have to control the situation. This is my controlled burn. I am to empower the parties so that they may express their feelings while simultaneously providing a safe environment. If a safe environment cannot be created by having the parties in the same room or even the same geographic location due to abuse, either psychological, emotional or physical, iChat Mediation will be the perfect option for conducting your family divorce mediation session.

So how do I decrease the likelihood of serious hotter conflicts? I conduct my own controlled burn either in person or by the use of iChat. Either way, I let the parties express their feelings; facilitate the discussion, use reflective listening skills; and most importantly remind the parties that confidentiality exists in the mediation session therefore it's a lot like Vegas. What happens in the session, stays in the session. With a successful burn, I will finally be able to assist the parties as they create their own agreements and complete the legal side of the process.

iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at http://www.ichatmediation.com or call us at 877-822-1479.

In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”