Co-habitation vs. Marriage

Today let’s talk about living together vs. getting married. Now I can speak about this because I lived with my girlfriend before marrying her and then I divorced her making her my ex wife. Regardless of your ethical or religious beliefs about living with another person prior to marriage and giving the relationship a “test run”, let me just say a few things.

First, about 30-40% of my mediations as a family mediator ARE NOT divorce mediations. These mediations are simply to set up a parenting plan for visitation and child support. The parties are not married, so there is no division of assets/debt and no alimony issues. Sounds simple and easy then right? For me, yes. For you, NO!

When 2 parties live together and have children and then split up here is what happens. To divide up their possessions and debt, the parties have to go to civil court. To figure out the parenting plan and child support, the parties have to go to family court. Here is where it goes bad for MOST women. There is no equitable division of assets and debt in civil court and Florida does not recognize common law. Since most men make more money, they usually walk away with more of the possessions.

Here is what happens if the 2 parties marry and then divorce. Everything gets taken care of in family court. A parenting plan and child support will be set up. Division of assets and debt will also take place which means that everyone will walk away with something. There is protection within family court because Florida is an equitable division of assets and debt state. At the end of the day division should be fair and equitable for both sides. Depending on the situation there could be alimony as well, but that’s another blog for another day.

So the moral of the story is that if you are going to play house, play within the confines of the yard so your investment into the relationship is protected. If you choose not to, then don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at http://www.ichatmediation.com or call us at 877-822-1479.

In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”