Sunday, January 15, 2012
My ex began dating a dump truck driver, but couldn’t move in with him as he was renting a room from his ex wife and still living with her in the marital home that she was awarded in their divorce. So in the meantime, my ex lived with her mother until her boyfriend moved out of his ex-wife’s house and moved in with his elderly mother. Subsequently, there was not enough space for the kids and the three of them, so on June 25, 2004, my ex voluntarily signed over primary custody of our two children to me and then she took off truck driving with her boyfriend. (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/b4rpxi) Her boyfriend left his job driving dump trucks locally and began driving 18 wheelers around the state of Florida. My ex wife stopped calling the kids. She also stopped showing up for scheduled visitation and refused to pay the child support. Finally after filing yet ANOTHER contempt of court, the magistrate told her to get off the road, get a job, start visiting her kids and paying support or go to jail.
Over the course of the next year or so, my ex wife would show up for her visitation, but refused to pay regular support and wouldn’t keep a job. I filed numerous contempts of court and time after time the court did NOTHING. On March 18, 2005, after being served contempt of court yet again, she retaliated and filed a false report with the Jupiter Police Department claiming parental kidnapping (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/9jl0n9). The police investigated and found the kids were not kidnapped, in fact the kids were in school all day. I filed against her citing Florida Statute 837.05 False Reports To Law Enforcement Authorities (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/g6m9kn) and what do you think the magistrate did? NOTHING! Why do we have laws and rules if the courts refuse to enforce them?
Later that year, after more contempts were filed for numerous violations of the law, my ex wife placed the kids in therapy and her and her mother sat in the sessions with the kids and coached them. They attempted to build a case of child abuse against me in order to attempt to get primary custody back. I only found out about this after seeing an entry in my daughter’s journal that said, “therapy appointment”. I confronted my ex wife and even went to the therapist’s office. The only thing I could think of to fight this manipulative act was to get certified as a guardian ad litem. It was something that had interested me and now seemed like the perfect time to get certified. I did so and informed the attorney providing her with my certificate. The attorney shut the case down and walked away as they did not want to accuse a court appointed guardian ad litem of child abuse. I have been a guardian ad litem since that time and have really enjoyed it as it has given me insight into the court system, family law and the children who desperately need help.
Over the course of time, my ex continued to move around a lot and still never held a job. She was supported by various boyfriends, her mom and other family members, but wouldn’t get a job herself. She dated the truck driver boyfriend for a while and when he attempted to break up with her, she claimed to be pregnant, so he stayed. On the third time she did this, he finally left for good and never looked back. My ex actually called me crying when he left and I told her to grow up, knock off the lying and manipulation and she may actually have a chance at a relationship. She said whatever and hung up on me. I was not surprised.
My ex eventually met her current husband and before you knew it, she was pregnant yet again. He was in the military and they got stationed in NY. She was pregnant and not working, so he began paying her support here and there. Over the past few years, the support was never consistent and rarely on time or in full. The court still REFUSED to do anything at all. They couldn’t garnish her wages as she wouldn't work. They wouldn’t garnish his pay even though he was supporting her. My ex complained that she didn’t have money for our kids since she had a new expense of yet another child. Here’s a novel idea: BEFORE you lay down and get knocked up by yet another sucker, why not take care of the two kids you already have!
If things couldn't get any worse, my ex in 2011 just had yet ANOTHER kid so not only does she have two children that she doesn’t provide support for, she now has two more kids. GOD HELP THOSE TWO NEW KIDS!!! After 8 years of filing contempt and getting NOWHERE, I eventually stopped because the court simply refused to help. Chapter 61 clearly outlines consequences for violations and it outlines what people are to do and not do, BUT judges and magistrates don’t like enforcing the existing laws and do not want punitive damages or consequences in family court. (https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/o0afsk) What are we to do then?????
In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”