The Gender Issue.

So I get asked all the time who I would recommend as a family attorney. My first question is, "Do you NEED an attorney? Is this something that you cannot deal with on your own with a mediator?" If an attorney is needed, then from my contact list I begin to give names and numbers of the best attorneys that I know and have experience working with. The next question I get asked is this, "Is there a reason why your top pick for attorneys are women?" 

My answer is yes. I have found that in life in general women are more emotional, patient, understanding, and since most women that have had children do have the children living with them most of the time they understand the dynamics involved in family law. Most men are analytical, less emotional, less patient and simply put they are meat and potatoes when it comes to issues. Most men do not have their children living with them the majority of the time (there are exceptions like myself) thus they do not REALLY understand the dynamics of raising children on a daily basis. This is a huge component of family law and I'm sorry if it seems like I am typecasting men and women into certain roles and assumptions. In my experience MOST of the time MOST of this is accurate and there are always exceptions. 

Also, It is highly recommended that your attorney is or has been married at some point in his or her life and if they have children, then even better. I have been in mediations where the attorney has never been married and has no children and they simply don't get it. For them, this is JUST a job. They have never experienced ANY of the issues being discussed and I have seen on numerous occasions that this presents issues in mediation between the client and the attorney. In one particular mediation a client kept pointing her finger at her attorney and then me and kept saying over and over again, "See…..the mediator gets it. You've never been through this and don't get it. The mediator gets it though" (See previous blog for my story).

Finally, I highly recommend getting at least three names of attorneys male and female. Interview the attorney to see if they are a right fit for your case and make sure your personalities don't clash. Remember though that you are the boss. You are paying the money therefor you ultimately call the shots. You must trust your attorney as your attorney is there to guide and inform you as you move through the process. In the end you're the boss and it's ultimately your choice how to proceed. Choose right and you will be rewarded, choose wrong and there are consequences.

iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at http://www.ichatmediation.com or call us at 877-822-1479.

In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”