When to separate the parties

Today Alex and Kim came to mediation. Kim was a stay at home mom and Alex worked in banking. They had married for many years and had 2 children. Alex and Kim had a pre-nump so all we had to discuss was time sharing and child support. Alex started by expressing that he wanted 50/50 visitation. Kim stated she wanted to go back to school and so 50/50 sounded good to her as well. When it came to figuring out the schedule though, it didn’t look anything like 50/50. Alex said he could take the kids every weekend, but Kim would have to keep the children every day during the week. We added up the days and it was not 50/50. At this point both parties began to get upset. Kim was visibly upset and Alex started being sarcastic and belligerent towards Kim. I separated the parties and found out that verbal abuse and control had been present all through out the marriage. In order for both Alex and Kim to make their own decisions and feel safe in making those decision, I continued the mediation with Alex in one room and Kim in another so there was no attack to either person. The mediation session took a little longer than normal since I had to go back and forth, but in the end, they settled their differences. 

Alex and Kim would have had a better mediation if they had chosen to participate in mediation via iChat Mediation. Each party would have attended from the safety, comfort and convenience of his and her own home. I still could meet with Alex and Kim privately online even though we are all on a video conference together due to the technology and system that I have in place. I have the ability to mute 1 party and then talk directly to the other party or we can instant message back and forth. In the end Alex and Kim would have actually saved money mediating online because it could have been less emotionally charged and it most likely would have taken less time. 

Either way, Alex and Kim crafted their own parenting plan that they were comfortable with are now they are able to move on to the new chapter of their lives.

iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at http://www.ichatmediation.com or call us at 877-822-1479.

In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”