tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6430478289441102952024-02-08T09:51:27.712-05:00iChat MediationThis is a compilation of life stories and experiences dealing with conflict resolution and family mediation. With conflict on the rise in our world today, wouldn't it be nice to know how to communicate and prevent a dispute from turning into a conflict?iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-18057993219803799682012-12-28T17:32:00.002-05:002013-01-04T23:11:05.960-05:00Sex as a Weapon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So after mediating almost 500 divorces, 182 just in 2012, just when I think I have heard it all, I hear things that just blow my mind. 2012 had a common thread though in the divorces and that was <b>INFIDELITY</b>. Being the curious guy that I am I asked each and every one of the couples what happened. Again there was a common thread running through each and every story. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The first thing I learned was that before women cheated sexually, they cheated emotionally. Their men were not meeting their emotional needs and desires and so they went looking elsewhere. If a guy at work or the bar, the gym or even church complimented them or paid attention to them, they responded. It usually started with just making sure they ran into each other and then it led to meeting for a drink or coffee and then eventually sex. What I found out next really surprised me. They only went looking AFTER they either suspected or confirmed that their man had strayed.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The second thing I learned is that men cheated sexually. Rarely did they cheat emotionally first. What I learned next somewhat surprised me, but didn’t as I have experienced it first hand and know oh to well what they were about to tell me. Every single man and when I say every single man I mean every single man said the same thing. They may have said it in a slightly different way, but it was the same. Their wives, before they became wives were sexual beings. The men said, “I do” (got married) and then the women said, “I don’t” (no more sex). After marriage, the sex slowed or even stopped all together. What made it worse is that the women used sex as a weapon. They used it to control, manipulate or to punish. When they began using sex against the men, the men simply went elsewhere. No game playing. No waiting. They simply checked out. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The last thing I learned was that lying was always involved at some level of this “game”. They promised many things when they were married. Many of those promises were either never truly meant or were forgotten. During the marriage things were promised. I promise to get that house or car. I promise I’ll go to church with you. I promise I’ll stop drinking. I promise to stop smoking. I promise we will have a family one day. The promise was not kept and thus trust no longer existed between the man and woman. Resentment set in and here we are.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">The result? the man and woman don’t trust one another. They no longer can stand each other. They men then stop complimenting their wives as now they resent them. Both parties stop initiating sex as they stop caring. The final result? The women are no longer getting love, affection and attention and so they began to cheat emotionally and that takes us back to the first thing I learned.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s a vicious cycle where everyone loses and the marriage ends. This begs the question, Why is sex used as a weapon? Why lie? None of these couples cheated thinking that the grass was greener on the other side. They knew that there was no grass on their side of the fence and so they simply left. Some stated that they would rather be alone, then stay in the situation that they found themselves in. </span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">If you find yourself in this situation and don’t know what to do, call iMediate Inc. We can help.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1b1fad; letter-spacing: 0px;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div>
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iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-57125951024873115782012-02-05T16:32:00.006-05:002012-02-05T16:37:05.780-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 9 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I’m ready to battle, but also waiting for the judge to order my ex and I to mediation. I believe that we will be able to settle everything in mediation, but we have to go first. I find out that my ex is planning to come to Florida for our court date in February and she is planning on seeing the kids and doing as she pleases. I texted her and told her I knew she was coming and also told her not to assume anything. No one consulted me and therefore there will be no time sharing until we go to court and redo our parenting plan. She was not happy with this being that she had already purchased airline tickets and was coming.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> A week or so went by. I met with my attorney, prepared the necessary paperwork for court, did my legal research and was ready to file subpoenas on Friday, January 27, 2012. I worked all day long and did not get out of mediation in time to get to the court house and to get the subpoenas to the process server, but there were greater forces at hand. When I arrived home there was a letter from the court. I was thrilled. Finally, the order to mediation. I ripped open the envelope only to find that the Magistrate cancelled our hearing. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/4am12j">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/4am12j</a>) WHAT? You have got to be kidding me! I got right on the phone with the court and talked with the judicial assistant. She told me that due to a filing technicality back in November, the Magistrate cancelled the hearing. Frustrated, I asked her why in the world could he not have told us in November or December when we were in front of him. Why wait until 3 weeks before our hearing? She said there was nothing she could do and hung up.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I threw my hands in the air and this was the perfect time to get angry, stomp around, throw an adult tantrum, curse, yell, scream, bitch and complain and turn right around and refile everything immediately to keep this battle waging. Instead, I stood in my bedroom, looked to the sky and said, “Ok God, what’s up?” I was at a total loss. I knew that my ex hadn’t received this letter of cancellation yet since she was out of state, so I decided to text her. I told her that the Magistrate cancelled our hearing, denied my motion to mediate since there was no hearing and that was that. She was furious as she had already bought tickets to come to Florida for court and now there was no court to come to. She was coming and wanted to see the kids and I had already told her that she would not see the kids until were went to court. There is now no court so there is no seeing the kids. I waited a day or so and then God spoke. He said to offer to mediate with her using iChat Mediation. I emailed her and said the only way she could see the kids is if we came up with our own settlement agreement and parenting plan PRIOR to her arrival. She agreed and so we scheduled to meet online through iChat Mediation on Monday, January 30, 2012. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I have to stop here and say something about iChat Mediation. To date, there is a 100% settlement rate using the online mediation platform through iMediate Inc. As the mediator, I have seen time and time again that meeting online for mediation takes the emotion out of the equation and it creates an atmosphere where parties are more at ease and able to communicate and come to an agreement. What is usually difficult in mediation is when two people that are fighting are sitting in the same room across the table from one another the emotions are high. From the comfort, safety, and convenience of your own home, you are now able to have your mediation, settle your differences, resolve your problems and move on with your lives. The true test of iChat Mediation was now with my ex and I. After all that we had been through and still experience, could iChat Mediation take our emotion out of the equation and could we have a conversation and craft a new agreement? </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> We met online and in one hour and thirty-seven minutes, we had a new settlement agreement and parenting plan. We only raised our voices 1 time each during our session which was truly amazing! We signed our agreement electronically and on Tuesday, January 31, 2012 I filed it with the court. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/oj0sx3">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/oj0sx3</a>)</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> So now what? I will continue to mediate and continue to inform others of the adversities that I have experienced. What about justice many have asked me? I can only tell you that after 37 appearances before the court and hundreds and hundreds of pages of documentation, our judicial system is broken and it REFUSES to hold people accountable in family court. Few people may get some accountability here and there depending on the judge or magistrate, but overall, justice will NOT be found in a court of law. So if not in a court of law, then where? I believe it will be found in mediation. Your best day for a settlement will be in your mediation, not litigation. It is anyone's guess what the magistrate or the judge will do. As you have seen with my case, the magistrates and judges do their own thing and enforcing the law is not one of them.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> At iMediate Inc., we get it. Mediation is not something that we have learned in a book. It is not an idea, a hypothesis or theory that we are going to test out on families in crisis. We have lived it and continue to live it on a daily basis. We get it! We can help you! We are here when you need us so please do not ever hesitate to call. Call us morning, noon or night. Call us 7 days a week at 877.822.1479 because family crisis does not happen only 9-5 Monday through Friday.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div></div></div></div></div></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-16131898569248615092012-02-05T14:04:00.001-05:002012-02-05T14:05:04.150-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 8 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> On November 16, 2011 and December 16, 2011 we went to court. (Click here to download the audio recordings from court in Nov. <a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/7ijvdk.mp3"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/7ijvdk.mp3</span></a>) (Click here to download the audio recordings from court in Dec. <a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/auzomo.mp3"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/auzomo.mp3</span></a>)</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> My ex wife appeared by phone and her mother showed up in person. Her mother lied on the stand and yet she couldn’t be charged with perjury. My ex wife lied and she couldn't be held for perjury either. It was shown that yes, my ex wife changed the kids insurance without my consent, but the judge REFUSED to hold her in contempt. The judge found that yes, my ex wife has not paid child support in almost 6 months, but REFUSED to grant a purge amount. The judge found that yes, my ex needs to pay support and yes the husband is supporting her, but REFUSED to grant an income deduction order from the husband’s pay. The judge found that yes, a previous judge did order my ex to get a job and pay support but REFUSED to enforce that previous order. The judged found that yes, my ex may have had something to do with the whole false claims to DCF, but told her to knock it off and REFUSED to enforce Chapter 61 where it clearly states time sharing can be limited or restricted due to this behavior. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/d3ox70"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/d3ox70</span></a>)</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> The judge REFUSED to hear about all the other false reports my ex wife made through the years that were mentioned previously. After filing over 200 pages of evidence, conducting depositions, serving numerous documents and 2 days in court, essentially the judge REFUSED to enforce existing laws and REFUSED to hold my ex wife accountable for any of the HELL that she released here on earth as she viscously and unjustly attacked our family and tried to tear us apart. She manipulated innocent children and time will tell how much she psychologically damaged them for her own selfish and wicked desires. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Due to everything that took place in court over the holidays, my ex furthermore REFUSED to give the kids their Christmas gifts unless I allowed her mother to see the kids over the holiday break. Once again, my ex and her mother were trying to manipulate the situation and control the kids and myself. I refused and even the kids told their mother to just send the gifts in the mail like other families, but she refused. My ex stated that ONLY if I allowed her mom to see the kids would they get their gifts. What is wrong with her???? My ex finally told the kids that when she comes to visit in February or in March, that she will bring the gifts. The kids finally told her not to worry about it. They said they don't need her gifts. It was really pathetic and sad. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> In January 2012, we received the judge's order from court in November and December (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/qzlafu"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/qzlafu</span></a>) and also a notice that the judge set us for a 2 hour hearing in February to hear my motion to modify time sharing. I prepared subpoenas for the Jupiter police that came over in September and also for the kid’s therapist who will testify to the judge about what the kids said actually happened with their mother. I also motioned the court to send us to mediation to attempt to settle as much as possible prior to our hearing. We’ll wait to see what happens. I’m now ready to unleash a little bit of my own hell and my attorney and I are ready to battle.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div></div></div></div></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-6936732361828951122012-02-05T13:27:00.006-05:002012-02-05T13:39:09.016-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 7 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> On September 23, 2011, I filed multiple contempts of court against my ex. She was still not paying child support for months and I became aware that she unilaterally changed the kid’s medical insurance to military insurance from Florida Healthy Kids insurance in order to obtain military base housing and gain a larger financial allotment from the government. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/yzgk30"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/yzgk30</span></a>) I had all the previous court documents, police reports, text messages, emails, voicemail recordings, faxes and letters proving my case. I felt that it had reached a point where enough was enough and the court had to get involved to make things right. </span></span></div><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> On September 25, 2011, I had an argument with my children and punished them for not listening and following the rules in my home. My son didn’t like the punishment, so he called his mom. That night she instructed our 13 year old son to go to school and tell the guidance counselor that I abused him and his sister. On September 27, 2011, DCF showed up to my house. They quickly realized it was all crap and that the allegations were false. They reported that the claim for abuse was unfounded and they closed the case. (</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #313131; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/kf012v)">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/kf012v)</a></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Later that same evening after DCF did not take the kids away from me, as my ex wife had hoped and planned, I took the kids with me to pick up my wife from work. While we were driving home and talking with the kids about what they had done, I saw a light and heard a noise in the back seat and when I turn around I saw my daughter’s cell phone on her lap and it was on. I grabbed it and saw that my ex wife had text her and told her to call her. My ex wife was listening to our entire conversation. I hung up the phone and completely went off at this point. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed. Words cannot explain what I felt. We got home and my ex continued to call and text me constantly. I simply text her and told her that we were having dinner and that the kids would call her later. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1915a6; font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: black; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px;">(<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/s5z8qn"><span style="font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/s5z8qn</span></a></span><span style="color: #313131; letter-spacing: 0px;">) </span></span>That wasn’t good enough for her. In her typical retaliatory mode, ONE minute later, she called the Jupiter Police requesting a welfare check and claiming I was blocking her calls and stated that she was IN FEAR for the kids’ lives. The police showed up and took the kids from our home. After further investigation the police found, like DCF, that the allegations were unfounded and it again was a bunch of crap and returned the kids.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1915a6;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1214062195">(</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #313131; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/ii44ws)">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/ii44ws)</a></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> After what my ex pulled, I filed additional contempts as well as a Modification of Time Sharing based on Chapter 61. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/hr3cb5"><span style="color: #1915a6; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/hr3cb5</span></a>). While waiting to go to court, I found out that my ex wife had given her mother all decision making authority over the kids as my ex wife executed and delivered a general power of attorney. This wasn't even hers to give away! My ex and her mother had been plotting and planning this entire thing together. I guess apples don’t fall to far from their trees. These two sick women plotted and manipulated my child into making a false report and involving DCF against me. <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1354236460">(</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #313131; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/ll7xoe)">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/ll7xoe)</a></span> As I later found out in court, the kids were told by their mother that their grandma would be on call and waiting to get them to deliver them to her in New York after DCF took them from me. That never happened and actually it all backfired. As a result, now their grandma has ZERO contact with the kids. I now will NEVER allow her to be around the kids while they are under my watch as she has proven to be poison and a wicked wicked woman.</div><br />
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</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div></div></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-65353895422039330212012-01-15T11:17:00.003-05:002012-02-05T13:24:39.007-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 6 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> My ex began dating a dump truck driver, but couldn’t move in with him as he was renting a room from his ex wife and still living with her in the marital home that she was awarded in their divorce. So in the meantime, my ex lived with her mother until her boyfriend moved out of his ex-wife’s house and moved in with his elderly mother. Subsequently, there was not enough space for the kids and the three of them, so on June 25, 2004, my ex voluntarily signed over primary custody of our two children to me and then she took off truck driving with her boyfriend. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/b4rpxi"><span style="color: #1c00ad; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/b4rpxi</span></a></span><span style="color: #313131; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px;">) </span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Her boyfriend left his job driving dump trucks locally and began driving 18 wheelers around the state of Florida. My ex wife stopped calling the kids. She also stopped showing up for scheduled visitation and refused to pay the child support. Finally after filing yet ANOTHER contempt of court, the magistrate told her to get off the road, get a job, start visiting her kids and paying support or go to jail.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Over the course of the next year or so, my ex wife would show up for her visitation, but refused to pay regular support and wouldn’t keep a job. I filed numerous contempts of court and time after time the court did NOTHING. On March 18, 2005, after being served contempt of court yet again, she retaliated and filed a false report with the Jupiter Police Department claiming parental kidnapping (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/9jl0n9">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/9jl0n9</a>). The police investigated and found the kids were not kidnapped, in fact the kids were in school all day. I filed against her citing Florida Statute 837.05 False Reports To Law Enforcement Authorities (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/g6m9kn"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/g6m9kn</span></a>) and what do you think the magistrate did? NOTHING! Why do we have laws and rules if the courts refuse to enforce them? </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Later that year, after more contempts were filed for numerous violations of the law, my ex wife placed the kids in therapy and her and her mother sat in the sessions with the kids and coached them. They attempted to build a case of child abuse against me in order to attempt to get primary custody back. I only found out about this after seeing an entry in my daughter’s journal that said, “therapy appointment”. I confronted my ex wife and even went to the therapist’s office. The only thing I could think of to fight this manipulative act was to get certified as a guardian ad litem. It was something that had interested me and now seemed like the perfect time to get certified. I did so and informed the attorney providing her with my certificate. The attorney shut the case down and walked away as they did not want to accuse a court appointed guardian ad litem of child abuse. I have been a guardian ad litem since that time and have really enjoyed it as it has given me insight into the court system, family law and the children who desperately need help.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> </span> Over the course of time, my ex continued to move around a lot and still never held a job. She was supported by various boyfriends, her mom and other family members, but wouldn’t get a job herself. She dated the truck driver boyfriend for a while and when he attempted to break up with her, she claimed to be pregnant, so he stayed. On the third time she did this, he finally left for good and never looked back. My ex actually called me crying when he left and I told her to grow up, knock off the lying and manipulation and she may actually have a chance at a relationship. She said whatever and hung up on me. I was not surprised. <br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> My ex eventually met her current husband and before you knew it, she was pregnant yet again. He was in the military and they got stationed in NY. She was pregnant and not working, so he began paying her support here and there. Over the past few years, the support was never consistent and rarely on time or in full. The court still REFUSED to do anything at all. They couldn’t garnish her wages as she wouldn't work. They wouldn’t garnish his pay even though he was supporting her. My ex complained that she didn’t have money for our kids since she had a new expense of yet another child. Here’s a novel idea: BEFORE you lay down and get knocked up by yet another sucker, why not take care of the two kids you already have!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> If things couldn't get any worse, my ex in 2011 just had yet ANOTHER kid so not only does she have two children that she doesn’t provide support for, she now has two more kids. GOD HELP THOSE TWO NEW KIDS!!! After 8 years of filing contempt and getting NOWHERE, I eventually stopped because the court simply refused to help. Chapter 61 clearly outlines consequences for violations and it outlines what people are to do and not do, BUT judges and magistrates don’t like enforcing the existing laws and do not want punitive damages or consequences in family court. (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/o0afsk"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/o0afsk</span></a>) What are we to do then?????</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-22323835193464795332012-01-12T21:44:00.005-05:002012-02-05T13:25:10.758-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 5 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> The divorce was now final and over the next 6 months and my ex still refused to work. My ex’s only source of income was the child support that I paid her and the money that she manipulated from her own mother. My ex’s water kept getting shut off in her apartment and her phone and electricity were disconnected more than once as well. My ex simply could not take care of herself and the kids. I was lonely and had co-dependent issues at the time and I didn’t want to be alone. As a result, my ex and I began to date and we attempted to reconcile. She moved from Stuart to Jupiter and moved in with me. She also got a job at Bank Atlantic in Abacoa. We seemed to get along. On the weekends my ex would go to work functions and fund raisers for her job and so I had the kids all to myself. I was thrilled. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Six months into it though, she got fired from her job. My family was in Orlando for a family reunion and she wanted to attend but was scheduled to work. She put a request in to get off so she could attend and it was denied. She spoke with her boss and it was still denied. The kids and I went to Orlando and the next day I got a call from my ex saying she was coming up. She had her mom, who was a nurse, have a Dr. at the hospital write her a note saying she had step throat and she went through the drive through at the bank and dropped off her Dr.’s note. She didn’t go in and give it to the manager on duty or her boss. She simply drove up, put the Dr’s note in the tube and then left. She showed up and told me what she did and the lying and manipulation not only pissed me off but my entire family. One of the last nights we were in Orlando, we went to Citywalk at Universal Studies. We fought the entire night. Ironically enough one of the couples that always banked at the branch my ex worked at saw us fighting and mentioned it to the bank manager. When my ex returned to work two days later, they fired her. They knew she wasn’t sick and had lied. I was over it. It was the same crap, just a different day. She was never going to change.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I finally kicked her out and filed for a Modification of Custody and that started the war. My ex retaliated on September 19th 2003, and filed an Injunction of Protection claiming I beat her and the kids and she was in fear for their lives (<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/8flivh">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/8flivh</a> -). I didn’t know how to fight these false allegations in court, so I hired an attorney. My attorney and I went to court on October 14, 2003, and my ex didn’t even bother to show up and we found that she voluntarily dismissed the claim. It was CRAP and she knew it, but I still got stuck holding the bill with my attorney. On October 14th 2003, I found out the reason why she moved in with me in Jupiter. She got the job at the bank and began dating one of the guys there. They were not going to fund raisers for the bank on the weekends. They were going off and having sex weekends together. I had no idea!! Again, just more manipulation, lies and deception. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"> We continued in court with our attorneys and I filed numerous contempts of court citing numerous violations of the laws. The magistrate REFUSED to grant any of the contempts and refused to hold my ex wife accountable for anything she did. My ex wife would put on the sad face, cry and gave excuse after excuse and the magistrate actually bought it every time. It was EXTREMELY frustrating!!</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> The magistrate ordered us to mediation. We spent four hours in mediation and came up with a partial/temporary agreement. I didn’t get the kids, but I had the child support reduced, we changed the time sharing and dealt with some of other issues. This actually laid the ground work for the surrender and modification of custody later that year. </span>(<a href="https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/b4rpxi">https://files.me.com/mbrickman911/b4rpxi</a>)</div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-50993746195064997962011-12-30T22:45:00.001-05:002012-02-05T13:25:15.690-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 4 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> In June of 2002, after my ex’s lies, manipulation, move-outs and cheating, I finally said that’s it. On Mother’s Day night, we sat on our living room floor and while watching Sex In The City, we filled out our divorce papers and the next day I filed. After school that day, we sat our kids down and told them that we were getting divorced and that I was leaving. My daughter, being the oldest and wisest, stomped her foot and at 6 years old said, “No! Like Barney says, I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family.” I was shocked at what my 6 year old could comprehend about the situation. We were divorced a few days before Father’s Day and did it all on our own without attorneys, but not without incident.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> The night before the divorce hearing, my ex invited me to her apartment to see the kids and to have dinner. We had dinner and afterwards my ex wanted to watch a movie and she asked if I would go get one. I left and when I got back to her apartment, I knocked on the door and she wouldn’t let me in. I knocked a few more times and only heard her say, “He’s here! He’s Here!” She wouldn’t open the door and so I turned to leave. As I approached the stairs, there were six cops with guns pulled. They told me to put my hands up and slowly walk down the stairs. I did so until I reached the bottom and then they put me against the wall and handcuffed me. The cops asked me where the gun was. I told them that I didn’t have one on me. Well, long story short, my ex wife called the police when I was on my way back with the movie and she told 911 that I was in the parking lot waiving a gun around and then I came inside and was holding her and the kids hostage. They eventually let me go and then gave me a trespass warning telling me not to come back that night. I told them that I wasn’t EVER going back. My ex told me, about a year later, that her plan was to have me arrested and put in jail so that the divorce would be either delayed or dismissed. As I drove away from my ex’s, after almost being arrested, I got a call from a good friend. He gave me some really bad news that he had just learned from his wife. As if my night couldn’t get any worse, I found out that my ex had manipulated my own grandparents into paying for her to consult an attorney AGAINST me for our divorce. My own grandparents! I then left Stuart and drove straight to Jupiter to confront my grandparents. Let’s just say that it was not a good night. WOW!!! I was so pissed off going into court the next day and was extremely glad when the divorce was final.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></span></div></div></div></div></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-17932370680232229852011-12-25T08:43:00.002-05:002012-02-05T13:25:21.544-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 3 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So I found my ex poking holes in condoms and later that week we found out that she was pregnant again. I was thrilled to find out that I was having my son, but no more kids. I had one of each and they only make 2 kinds. I stayed with her, but decided that since I left birth control up to her twice and twice she got pregnant, there was only one thing to do. At 23 years old, I got a vasectomy and made sure she never pulled this again. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I previously told you about the first time that my ex moved out and told you that the first time she left was the most traumatic, but the 4th time was the potentially the most dangerous. My ex wanted to go see her dad in Georgia, so I sent her and the kids on vacation for a long weekend. When she returned home, something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. All week long she said she had to go back and see her dad. She just had to go back. “I want to go back next weekend” she kept saying. I was tired of the constant nagging, yelling, wining and arguing so I gave in and said go. My ex was supposed to stay with a friend and when I called to talk to the kids, her friend said she wasn’t there and had no idea that my ex was even back in town. I then became extremely worried as she had both the kids with her. I called her cell phone over and over and finally she answered. I heard the kids in the background and heard a man’s voice. I asked where she was and she said that she had met up with a guy friend from high school and she was at his house. After we got off the phone I called her sister and asked her if she had known this guy. She didn’t and she even called her mom who had never heard of this guy either. I called my ex back and this guy answered the phone and started telling me what a horrible father I was and an awful husband. He told me how cute my kids were and how I should be a better dad to them. Are you kidding me? Now I was pissed. Long story short, what happened was this. The week prior when my ex went to Georgia to see her dad, she went out and met a guy at a bar. They hooked up and she promised him she’d be back the next weekend. If that’s not bad enough, what crossed all boundaries was that she then had the kids with her in his trailer in the backwoods of Savannah. Who knew if this guy was a child molester, criminal, or what, but when I found out where she was, I left Florida with my gun, a video camera and the kid’s passports. I drove all night to Georgia and without altercation I got the kids and brought them back to Florida. She eventually came home about 5 days later. We lasted about another year and it was finally over. Enough was enough!!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> In almost 7 years she packed up and moved out a total of 7 times and I didn’t find out until after the divorce that she had multiple affairs. After the divorce I also found out more disturbing information. During the marriage we spent 4 years in marriage counseling and she was involved with two recovery groups for women who had been abused and raped. Remember I told you previously about her uncle that had molested her and her sister for years? I found out a few years after the divorce from her own sister that the rape and molestation NEVER happened. They never lived with her grandma and the uncle never molested either of them. His wife was never her best friend. My ex made the whole thing up. </span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
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<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></span></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-88359782054378299042011-12-23T00:45:00.002-05:002012-02-05T13:25:26.170-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 2 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I met my ex wife when I was 19 and she was 22. We fought constantly over everything. We almost split up too many times to count and it looked like our dating relationship was over, until she turned up pregnant with our daughter. My ex wife went off the pill and told no one. This was the first of her many manipulative acts. She knew that I wouldn’t leave if she was pregnant and she was right. I was raised in a Christian home where you do not live with a person if you are not married to them, so I did the “right” thing and got married. Even though we had a child, the fighting never stopped. We saw many marriage counselors, as I wanted to make things work. I found out that a lot of my ex wife’s issues stemmed from her childhood and past relationships. She told me that her ex boyfriend used to beat her and told me even more importantly that her uncle had raped and molested her and her sister for years when they were children. My ex wife’s parents met while her mom was a nurse and her dad was admitted for a drug overdose. They married and later divorced. According to my ex wife, her and her sister had to go live with their grandmother. After the divorce, their mother worked really crazy hours at the hospital and wasn’t around to care for them. It was while living at the grandma’s house that the molestation of both my ex wife and her sister took place. To make things worse, this uncle, years later, married my ex wife’s best friend. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I was now almost 22 and my ex wife and I were still fighting. We simply didn’t get along and she was lazy. I was working 4 jobs and she refused to work outside of the house and also refused to do any work around the home. She was a stay at home mom who did not cook, clean or do anything but watch Talk Soup on E! </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> From the time when we married until I was almost 23, my ex wife had literally packed up and moved out of the house and took my daughter 3 times. The first time and the fourth time that she left, I will NEVER forget. The first time she left, I was working and my ex was supposed to be at home getting the clubhouse ready for my graduation party. About halfway through the day, my mother-in-law drove up to my work with her car packed and my ex wife stepped out to inform me that she had moved out, BUT she would be back later for the party. WHAT? Are you kidding me? She was to be decorating to celebrate my graduation from school, but instead she had to leave to make a statement. I was crushed. I left work and I had to go home and quickly decorate for my own party. My ex wife did show up with our daughter and acted like NOTHING happened. Most people at the party didn’t even know she had moved out. For me, it wasn’t much of a party as I felt that I had lost my family. To make things worse, when the party was over, my ex started bossing the guests around and having them help clean up. She didn’t lift a finger though to clean up. I left my own graduation party and went home and cried myself to sleep. For the next few days I was depressed, confused and angry. It was tough to go to work and I ate nothing. I pleaded with her and begged her to come home and about a week later she returned. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Things did not improve once she returned home and we continued to argue. The relationship reached a place where child or not, it seemed over. I was fed up and I was ready to move out and file for divorce and then it happened. I was late getting ready for work and needed to get into the bathroom to take a shower, but the door was locked. I kept banging and banging and I finally picked the lock. To my surprise, when I opened the door, there was my ex wife sitting on the floor poking holes in condoms. It turns out that she had been doing this for a while, but it was too late. We found out later that week that she was already 3 weeks pregnant. </span></div><br />
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</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div></div></div><br />
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</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-48699744409487458142011-12-20T22:14:00.003-05:002012-02-11T10:29:47.553-05:00Court of Public Opinion Pt 1 of 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"> I have conducted hundreds of mediations and thought I have seen and heard it all, yet still there are times where even I get amazed. People just never cease to fascinate me. I feel a very heavy burden conducting mediation. Mediation is not just a job, but it is my calling in life. If you have not already done so, I strongly urge you to go back and read the first blogs that I posted, which gave an overview of how I got into mediation through my own struggles. (<a href="http://ichatmediation.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-it-all-began.html"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://ichatmediation.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-it-all-began.html</span></a> and <a href="http://ichatmediation.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-own-mediationso-it-begins.html"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://ichatmediation.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-own-mediationso-it-begins.html</span></a>)<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> I am about to do something that most people won’t do, which is to share my life and experiences with you in graphic detail. This is going to be the first of a nine blog series. This is not meant to defame anyone. My intention is to let you know that I understand what you are going through. I have gone through hell with my ex and I still do even today. I know the difficulties of single parenthood. I know the frustration caused by dealing with an arrogant ex spouse and the high tension and level of frustration CAUSED by an incompetent and screwed up judicial system. I will be posting links to documents that I have personally filed and orders that have been signed by judges involved in my case. In the end, you will see for yourself where the court system and the judges have REFUSED to uphold and enforce the law as well as enforce previous court orders. If you would like to look up my case yourself and review it in it’s entirety, then do so as it is public record and located at the Martin County Courthouse. The case number is 02566DR.</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"> Our system is broken beyond belief and I do not know how to change it. Something has to be done. My hope and prayer is that as you read my story, you will find comfort and realize that you are not the only one. Here at iMediate Inc., we can help. The judicial system may not help you in your time of need. The police may not be there to protect you. Your best day and best protection, even though it certainly will not be fool proof, will be mediation. Do not jump to litigation and think it will all work out and be settled by a judge. You must take control of your own life. It is so important to choose your mediator wisely. Your life and your children’s lives hang in the balance of a competent mediator who has lived through the pain and difficulty of divorce. A competent mediator will be able to help you navigate the judicial system and craft an agreement that not only prohibits, but also protects all parties involved. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></span></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-30831793049342920502011-09-21T09:18:00.000-04:002011-09-21T09:18:27.460-04:00To The Death<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">So I sit in mediation day in and day out and listen to people discuss broken dreams, distorted truths, and promises that were never kept. They all seem to be upset that someone lied to them about issues such as the car payment, providing a home, taking care of the kids, getting a job, paying back loans, paying off debts and even being faithful. People seem to get so wrapped up in the these issues and complain that this promise was broken or that promise was broken, but they fail to go back to the beginning and the root promise that was not kept.....I choose to love you and be with you until death do us part! Yep! If this promise was kept, then the rest may not be issues. If they have broken the promise about forsaking all others or loving and sticking by the other person through good times and bad times until the end of time, then of course they will break the rest of them as they are all based on this one promise. </div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Sad but true, I now have to be the realist in the room and be the one to point this out. I have to show them that promises were broken and now they must simply move on, but it is always not so simple. Emotions are in the way of logic and reason. Feelings of guilt, shame, frustration, failure, disgust, hate, fear, betrayal and more many times get in the way of simply moving on. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">If you are experiencing a <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/dissolution-of-marriage-in-florida.html">dissolution of marriage</a>, then my job as a mediator is to help you navigate through these emotions so that logic and reason can appear to help create a legal agreement regarding the children, money, debt and belongings. I believe that time will heal some wounds, but not all so therapy may be a good place to start as you can never learn enough about who you are and what makes you tick. If you do not invest in you after a divorce, then you will take the same you with all your emotions and baggage and carry it into the next relationship. This can be a recipe for yet another failure. Just remember, no one will ever take better care of you than you so until death do you part, put you first, love yourself, value yourself and fix yourself. When you are complete and you don’t NEED someone else to complete you, now you will be ready for a healthy relationship!!!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #170096; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-41383665795565626362011-08-26T09:51:00.001-04:002011-08-26T10:20:49.162-04:00Hiring an Attorney<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';">This is going to be short sweet and to the point. Please please please, when you are dealing with difficulties in your life and you may need to hire an attorney to represent you in mediation and eventually a court of law concerning a family matter, such as a <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/child-custody-mediation-in-florida.html"><span style="color: #2000ee; text-decoration: underline;">child custody</span></a>, please hire a family attorney. Just hiring the most expensive attorney in town is not the best idea. </span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"> </span><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';">I recently had a mediation where the mom hired an attorney and the father was pro se. The parties were never married and so it was a paternity mediation. The attorney for the mom was nice, well dressed and polite. She appeared to be educated except at times I wondered what she was thinking. She kept giving her client incorrect advice that didn't even line up with or follow the law. Now, I cannot jump in and say she is wrong, but I have to explain and show in a round about way that well, she is wrong. The case did not settle as this female attorney kept putting ideas in her client's head about what the mom could get in a court of law and what she was entitled to, yet these ideas were incorrect and not in accordance with the law. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';">Unfortunately, it was not until the end where the female attorney gave me her card where I look on her card and see about 6 fields of law that she claims she practices in and to my surprise, nowhere on the card did it say family law. She wasn't even a family attorney. No wonder she couldn't properly advise her client. She didn't know what she was talking about. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';">In the end, it is a lot like a doctor. If you need surgery on your brain, would you go to your family doctor for brain surgery? If you need plastic surgery, would you go to the best podiatrist in town? I hope not. When dealing with a family matter and if you need an attorney, then hire a family attorney and better yet, Google: Family Law Statute and then the name of your state and download the state laws for your state so that with or without an attorney, you can be educated on what the law says. Knowledge is power and with a little knowledge for yourself, you will be able to save a lot of time, money, frustration and headache in the end. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #2000ee; letter-spacing: 0px;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: 16.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</span></span></div></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-2083323991810177682011-08-10T07:00:00.004-04:002011-08-10T07:00:15.265-04:00Responsibility<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Dear Mediators, </div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I am writing you tonight because of the love that I have for each and every one of the couples that I have had the privilege to mediate and YES, it is a privilege. I have been in the industry for a number of years and mediated in the courthouse, in law firms and in my own office with pro se clients as well as attorneys. I have seen other mediators and I do not believe that most of us understand the responsibility that each and every one of you have been handed. Mediation is not just another job. Mediating should not be just another day at the office. Mediating should not be what you do but rather who you are. You are a professional peacemaker and your job is to bring peace where conflict thrives. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">I have lived through a divorce and through a bankruptcy and I will tell you that the two lowest points in a man’s life is bankruptcy and divorce. Feeling like a failure financially and in a relationship are devastating to a man and his self worth. Divorce is a dark day in a couple’s life. Divorce is the ultimate rejection. At one time someone said, “I choose you above everyone else in life” and now they say, “ I can’t stand you and never want to hear another word out of your mouth ever again. GO AWAY!” When mediating this, you may be the only light this couple experiences in their darkest hour. You may be the only glimpse of hope to a couple that has lost all hope. Giving up and impassing a mediation should be the utmost last resort AFTER you have tried everything in your power, exhausted every single idea and explored all possible options and even after that you should try for at least a partial agreement. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">As a mediator your job is three fold: (1) Facilitate a conversation between the parties. This means that you will be the conduit for communication. The parties will fight and it is your job to still move the communication forward and help the parties not only hear what the only person has to say, but LISTEN to what is being said. (2) Take the parties through legal paperwork. Yes, you are to complete the parenting plan and MSA in mediation with all the parties present. When an agreement, either partial or full, is completed the parties should walk out with a signed copy. (3) Empower the parties to have a voice and to be heard as well as empower the parties to make a decision. Good or bad, it is the party’s decision. Many times, the reason why conflict exists is because one party does not feel like he or she has a voice and they simply want to be heard. Your job is to make sure that if a party has something to say, he or she gets to say it. </span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In the end, I believe that if you do not LOVE mediating and if your passion is not to bring peace to broken families, if this is just a way of making money and pulling a paycheck, then you need to stop and find something else to do. Lives hang in the balance and people have placed their lives in your hands. A child’s future and a mom or dad’s ability to be a parent it is NOTHING to play around with.</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #1c00ad; font: 12.0px Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0.0px; text-decoration: underline;">http://www.ichatmediation.com</span></a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-51522534571991875092011-08-07T16:31:00.002-04:002011-08-11T13:53:25.588-04:00Email Accounts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I had a situation that came up that I believe most people probably have not thought of or possibly even realized.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">How many of you have a computer? How many of you have kids that use your computer? How many of you have your own account on your computer? How many of you don't want your kids to have their own account, so they have to access the computer through your account? Well here is the problem with all of this. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I received a phone call the other day from a very dear friend of mine, we'll call her Staci, and she was in a panic. Staci is a single mom with 3 kids. Staci has a computer and each kid has their own separate account. Staci's oldest daughter, who is 12, has her own computer that her dad bought for her for her birthday. She wanted to buy music through iTunes and so Staci put in her username and password to allow her daughter to purchase some songs. Staci has a MobileMe account and an iPhone. This all sounds harmless, right? Up to this point it is. Now here is the problem. With a MobileMe account and an iPhone, the iPhone will wirelessly backup to the computer where the iTunes login account is active. The account was on the Staci's computer and is NOW on her daughter's computer too. All of a sudden, the 12 year old has access to all of Staci's email and can view all the communication between her mom and her dad. NOT A GOOD SITUATION AT ALL. The law states very clearly that parents are not to discuss anything with the kids and all communication about the kids is to be between the parents. Without even being aware of it, Staci could have been in violation of the law and dad could have filed contempt of court on Staci for allowing the daughter access to private emails, even though it was not intentional. I know that most of you are probably saying, but Staci can simply argue she didn't know. Ignorance is no defense of the law. She'd still risk being in trouble. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I also know parents that do not allow their kids to have their own computer and do not even allow them to have their own account. If you let your kids have access to your computer and if they get into your mail, and they could, you too could find yourself in a bad situation. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">So what's the solution? Make sure that you have your own account. Make sure that when you are done using your account, you log off. Create a separate account for your kids and visitors. If your kids have their own computer, like Staci, make sure you do not put any of your passwords or account info on their computer allowing them access to your account. Keep the kids out of the adult conversation and allow them to be kids even through the divorce and it's aftermath. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></span></span></div></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></span></div></div></div></div><br />
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</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-33497917412973665452011-05-27T13:39:00.000-04:002011-05-27T13:39:36.992-04:00Don’t Just Do the Job, Love The Job!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px;">So what makes a good mediator? I believe it takes one who is not only skilled in legal writing and knowledge of the judicial system, but one who knows how to navigate emotions and is good with people. It is a careful balance of legal and psychological. At times a good mediator must simply sit and listen. They must be able to give good sound advice. They must be impartial and not show favor to either side. They must be able to control a room full of emotional human beings. At times being a mediator is a lot like dealing with crowd control. People need to speak and need to be able to release their emotions, but a good mediator must know when to jump in and not allow the emotions though to dominate the conversation which can lead to the mediation spiraling out of control. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px;">A good mediator must be able to memorialize the entire agreement in a legal document so that everything that is discussed and agreed upon can be read, understood and obeyed by each party. The document must be able to not only be understood by the parties, but it must be able to be interpreted, understood and able to be enforced by a court of law. A good mediator will not simply throw in the towel at the first sign of disagreement as if the parties agreed on issues, they would not be in mediation. A good mediator must not look at the mediation as a way to simply make money. A good mediator doesn't just do the job, he or she must love the job. As for me, I am a great mediator as I believe that I have been placed on this earth to mediate. For me, mediation is not what I do, but rather who I am as a person. I love what I do and you will see that when I conduct your mediation. I look forward to seeing you soon.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></span></div></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div><div><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b><br />
</b></span></div></div></div></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-9056704059654051472011-05-09T09:42:00.000-04:002011-05-09T09:42:53.025-04:00Child Support And Time Sharing 2011<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">In the state of Florida as of January 2011, the laws have changed in regards to child support and time sharing. Let's start with the past and what happened to explain what is currently going on and how it can affect the decisions you make today.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">In the past there was a primary residential parent and a secondary residential parent. The normal time sharing schedule was split 62% and 38%. Child support was calculated based on the parent's income and the time sharing. The majority of the time, the mother was the primary and the father was the secondary parent in the parenting plan. Dad got 10 days a month and mom had the rest. Dad paid child support and mom heavily relied on the support even though it was only supplemental and definitely not anywhere close to what it actually costs to raise children on a daily basis. There was a threshold for equalizing out time sharing and that was 40% and could minimize the child support as both parents would be spending closer to equal time with the children and pay closer to the actual costs for daily expenses.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">This format existed for quite some time up until a few years ago when the trend took a huge swing in the opposite direction and moms started to surrender primary care to the fathers so that they could attempt to get work outside of the home, go back to school or work more hours at their existing jobs. Dad now got to feel what moms have known for many years with the daily responsibility of raising kids as a single parent. The downside was that moms were not paying child support and the percentage of deadbeat dads was around 37% and the percentage of deadbeat moms rose to 74%. The court system realized something was not right and that brings us to where we are today.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">As of January 1, 2011, the new time sharing schedule is 50/50 not 62/38 and the threshold that I mentioned previously dropped from 40% to 20%. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">So where's the problem? A lot of parents that come to me try to use old time sharing schedules where the time is split 62/38, but have to adhere to new child support calculations and the child support simply is not there. Why? The reason is simple. If both parents are spending the same amount of time with the children, then there is little need for measly child support because now mom and dad are both paying the ACTUAL costs of raising the kids only 50% of the time and the playing field is leveled.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Now in mediation lately, most moms do not want to give up time and share 50/50, so please be advised that the child support is not going to be there like in the past. In the end, for you mothers out there, if you want more time with your kids and do not wish to share according to the new guidelines, be advised that there will not be more child support waiting for you like it was in the past.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: small;"><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></span><br />
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</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-14098871107715740342011-04-30T22:46:00.000-04:002011-04-30T22:46:49.452-04:00Pro Se<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: 14px;">If you are going to represent yourself in a court of law, you had better know what you are doing. If you don't, then you can't blame everyone around you that is attempting to help you. Don't blame the mediator that is simply doing his or her job and helping you actually move through the process. Don't blame the clerk of court who simply takes the papers and files the papers that you and your spouse filled out on your own. Don't blame the judge's assistant that is doing his or her job and don't blame the judge either. Of all these individuals, it is you and your spouse that do not know what you are doing. The rest of these people, from the clerk to the judge have multiple degrees, certifications and experience that qualify them to do their job.</span><br />
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</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">If you are representing yourself, here is a novel idea. First, start by looking up, reading, studying, learning and following Chapter 61. Second, go read the rules of civil procedure so you know the rules of the court. Third, review civil litigation so you know how the judicial system is set up and structured to run. Finally, remember that mediation is designed to allow you to make your own choices and make your own decisions. The mediation agreement is your own and the choices you make in that agreement are to be your own. Stop blaming others that are here to help and be responsible and accountable for the choices you make and decisions you make. If you are unsure in what to do or how to do, then get some legal advice, hire an attorney or attend law school. </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i<i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-91254930141788525422011-04-21T23:56:00.000-04:002011-04-21T23:56:36.662-04:00Certified Mediator<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Choosing a mediator to assist you in what is probably the most difficult time of your life is a just as important as the decisions you will create in your mediation agreement. So how do you find a good mediator? How do you know if he or she is qualified? What does a good qualified family mediator look like? Why even hire a mediator? These are just a few of the important questions that need to be answered. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">First, please visit http://www.flcourts.org/ and click on the link for Mediator Search. From there, look up your mediator by name. You will find lots on info such as, the name of the mediator, address, contact info, when his or her certification is up for renewal from the Florida Supreme Court, the Circuits that they service, the mediator's certification number and a report or sanction history against the mediator. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Second, visit http://www.mediate.com/ and see if the mediator is listed in the mediation directory and see what his or her rating is in the legal community. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Third, <a href="http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=Matthew+Brickman&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8">Google</a> the mediator. See if the mediator is known in his or her industry. Have they been published? Do they have life experience, or possibly a blog, podcast, news articles, videos, commercials or social media connections?</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Finally, see if they have a website. Do they have testimonials and references? Do they have a <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/cv.html">CV</a> or a resume you can view? A good mediator will have these things and their <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/iChatMediation_Pricing.pdf">pricing</a> and terms of the mediation should also be clearly explained.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">You do not have to hire an attorney to assist you in your divorce, though at times and in certain situations, an attorney is necessary. With or without an attorney though, you must attend mediation. Make sure you pick a mediator that can (1) facilitate the conversation in mediation; (2) draw up the necessary paperwork right there on the spot in mediation for you and your spouse to sign; and (3) one that will not pressure you into an agreement, but rather empower you to make up your own mind and make your own decisions. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">This is a difficult and emotional time in your life. Make sure you choose someone who is able to assist you and help you navigate through the divorce process. </div><br />
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</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b><a href="http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/3YP9lZ/www.ichatmediation.com/">WELCOME TO iMEDIATE INC.</a></b> </div></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">We are <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html">family law mediators</a> and we are a cost conscious and cost considerate company that was formed to help everyone through their difficult times. We offer courthouse rates to those who qualify so visit our website or call us today to find out more.</div></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">i</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></span></span></span></div><br />
</div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-14772138320099122652011-03-16T22:05:00.000-04:002011-03-16T22:05:39.999-04:00Winners and Winners<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Mediation today was quite interesting. Prior to dad being deployed in the army, mom and dad got divorced. Dad went away for 2 years and mom was home raising the child. Mom had been making decisions unilaterally since many times dad couldn't be contacted. Dad got medically discharged and is now collecting unemployment. Dad is now home and wishes to see his son. He has stated that he has now started the biggest battle of his life. Dad even stated that fighting for his country wasn't as difficult or as emotional than the battle that is being raged with his ex wife over support and time sharing. Mom and dad live almost 75 miles apart and wish to be involved in their son's life. There are obvious difficulties just in exercising time sharing with such a distance. Issues ranging from who is dropping off and picking up, who's covering the travel expenses due to the increase in auto fuel, and not to mention the weekly and holiday time sharing schedules. Lots of emotions flew today and tears were shed as a new parenting plan and support were calculated. In the end, under the new laws and guidelines, dad got more time sharing and mom now gets less support. I believe that the child's interest will be met as this child will now get a more balanced relationship with both mom and dad. Both parties negotiated and both parties won and lost certain issues. In the end, they created their own parenting plan and I believe as time goes by, they will realize that the true winner is not either of them, but rather their 6 year old son. A wise woman once said to me that I would never be able to be the parent that my children need me to be until I can get past and over myself. She was right!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/">http://www.ichatmediation.com</a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-60103696124476711802011-03-02T22:02:00.003-05:002011-03-17T10:40:31.480-04:00Priorities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Arial MT'; font-size: medium;"><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> These days there are a lot of things that are pulling people in many different directions. Wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, significant others, kids, work, bosses, co-workers, and more. What is the correct order so that balance can be achieved in life? Should kids be the top priority? How about work? Maybe your significant other or even yourself. Let's explore this a bit. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> First and foremost the individual self, yes you are to be number one. No one will ever take better care of you than you. You can't be there for anyone else if you are not well. You must be number one. If you don't love yourself or know who you are, how in the world do you expect anyone else to accept you, whomever you may be? </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> Second, your spouse or significant other must be a priority. Once you are a complete person, then you are ready for a relationship. We have been placed here on earth for relationship. We have not been created to be alone. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> Third priority should be your job. Jobs come and go, but you are a constant and your significant other should be a constant. Cling to one another and weather the storm of employment and unemployment. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> Fourth priority is kids, if you have them. If you do not then move on to the last of the top five priorities in your life. If you do have kids like I do, then regardless of significant others and regardless of employment, your kids are your kids. Kids MUST never be a top priority and must never supersede a spouse or a job. Kids cannot run the home. They are kids. They should never be handed that much power and responsibility. You are the parent and they are the kid. They will be adults soon enough. If you place kids above your own needs, you will never be able to be there for your kids the way that they actually need you to be. If you place your kids above a spouse, resentment and divorce are sure to follow. If you place your kids above your job, you could lose the job and then not be able to provide for your kids. I'm not saying your kids are last priority. I am only listing the top five of many many priorities in your life. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> Number five and certainly not last is family. Do not put your extended family above your own needs and do not let your family interfere with your relationship. Don't let your family get in the way or dictate your job and certainly do not let your family tell you how to raise your kids. Love and respect your family, but realize they too have their place. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"> Follow this and find balance in your life. Don't and I'll be seeing you soon. </span></div></span><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;">iChat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/">http://www.ichatmediation.com</a> or call us at 877-822-1479.</div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="color: #351c75; font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-70997397371302410562011-02-23T21:59:00.004-05:002011-03-17T10:31:01.752-04:00Bring No One!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Legal proceedings can seem scary and to go through a hearing, deposition or mediation alone can lead to higher than normal anxiety and stress. Sure, having friends and family just riding in the car to the proceeding can be calming and comforting. It's nice to bounce some ideas off of them and to get an outside perspective. Once the proceeding is over, it's nice to have a supportive shoulder to cry on or an ear that is willing to listen. This all sounds well and good, but DO NOT BRING ANYONE TO YOUR LEGAL PROCEEDING. Why might you ask?</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I had a mediation where the wife came with her mother and the husband showed up alone. The wife, the husband and both attorneys came into the room for mediation. The mother of the wife was not allowed to come into the room at anytime without the permission of the husband and he expressly said no. This particular case had been going on for 2 years. The parties had attempted mediation in the courthouse and it was a disaster as most courthouse mediations are, but that is a whole other story. Neither party wished to come to mediation after having such a disaster and horrible experience, but the wife's attorney assured her that mediation with me would be different and it was.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Over the course of 3 hours, the five of us carefully and methodically crafted a customized parenting plan and MSA for the parties and their 2 children. Both sides compromised on certain issues and there was give and take on both sides of the table. When it came time for the child support, the wife didn't like the new laws and support numbers. She demanded more than what she was legally entitled to receive. The husband agreed to pay the wife almost $200 more than what he was legally obligated to pay and the wife agreed. I began to finish writing the agreement and the wife asked to be excused to go to the restroom. Everyone was relieved until the wife came back into the room. Apparently the wife stopped and spoke to her mother who was in the waiting area and she explained what she had just agreed to. The mother was livid and in her own ignorance told the wife not to agree to anything and to go to court. This mother was not privy to ANY of the conversations, negotiations or explanations of the laws as she was not present in the mediation. When the wife returned to the room, she said she refused her own settlement deal and demanded to go to court to get even more money since the mother told her she needs to get more. The wife wasn't even entitled under the law to get what the husband had just agreed to pay, which was $200 above and beyond what his court ordered support should be. The wife's mother just unravelled 3 hours of negotiations and now the parties will go to court. The husband and his attorney said that the generous overpayment of support was now off the table.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">So the question is this. Who will lose due to the mother's influence over her daughter? Certainly not the husband or the mother. It will be the wife and even more so the kids who will suffer due to the ignorant influence of an angry and bitter ex-mother-in-law. I wonder if this grandmother will look back and regret what she just did to her daughter and her grandkids? What a shame!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">In the end though, I did my job. I facilitated the conversation between the parties, I took them through the necessary paperwork and I empowered them to make their own decision. Good or bad, it was their decision, not mine and that is what mediation is all about.</span></div></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i<i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></div></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal;"></span></i></div></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i></i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></div></div></div></i></span></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-67405208373283358282011-02-15T08:51:00.000-05:002011-02-15T08:51:50.732-05:00Mediation and Reconciliation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"> Only two times in almost 300 mediations have I seen reconciliation. The first took place in 2009 when I worked in the courthouse. I conducted a <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html">family divorce mediation</a>, left the room to make copies of the signed agreement and when I returned, the parties were making out. I stood in the doorway until they were done and when they finished and I returned, they asked me if they HAD to file the papers with the court. I told them that the papers were theirs to do with as they pleased. If they wanted to file and move forward, then they could. If they wanted to hold off and see what happens, then they could. I don't know what ever happened to that couple, but it made for an interesting day and a great story. </span></div><div style="font: 15.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"> The second took place in December of 2010. The parties were never married but they had a child together. Things apparently were tense and bad enough that an attorney, the court and a mediator had to get involved to set up a time sharing schedule and set up child support. The father retained an attorney and the mother was representing herself. In the beginning, the mediation was VERY tense as it was visibly apparent that the parties could not get along. As I conducted the mediation and helped the parties break down the walls and begin to communicate, the tone of the mediation changed and the mood of the parties changed too. By the end of the session, the father spoke of hope of maybe getting back together with the mother. The mother scoffed and said she didn't think so, but in less than 2 hours I was able to establish a parenting plan and set up child support and the parties were then on their way. I received an exit survey from the parties thanking me for the great job I had done in helping them settle their disputes. In February 2011, I came to find out that the parties not only began dating a few weeks after the mediation session, but the parties are now engaged and getting married.</div><div style="font: 15.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"> I am a Family Mediator. I specialize in family issues and 99% of the time it is to dissolve a marriage or relationship and conduct either a divorce or paternity mediation that results in the parties going their separate ways and beginning a new life apart. I, like most people, like happy endings though. When I get to play a role in the dispute and the parties come together and form a family or keep the family together rather than the destruction of the family unit, It makes me really happy that I have been blessed with such a career. Many mediators view mediation as a job. For most, it's a way to simply pay the bills. For me, it's what I have been created to do on this planet. I AM a Professional Peacemaker. I AM a Conflict Resolution Specialist. Mediation is not what I do, but it is who I am. I AM a Family Mediator. </div><br />
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<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i<i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal;"></span></i></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;"><i><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></div></div></i></span></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-75913883969285348642011-02-03T11:04:00.001-05:002011-02-03T16:59:33.814-05:00Divorce Rates By State<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I found this very interesting and so I wanted to share this with all of you so that you can see what the divorce rate in your particular state is. If you need help, REGARDLESS of where you live, call us today at 877.822.1479.<br />
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The most recent divorce rates by state, according to the government, are available for 2007 -- and they are rates per 1,000 people (total population) residing in area.<br />
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1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Alabama: 4.6<br />
2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Alaska 4.2<br />
3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Arizona 3.9<br />
4.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Arkansas 4.9<br />
5.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>California 4.3<br />
6.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Colorado 4.4<br />
7.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Connecticut 3.2<br />
8.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Delaware 3.7<br />
9.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Florida 4.6<br />
10.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Georgia 3.2<br />
11.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> Hawaii 3.7<br />
12.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Idaho 4.9<br />
13.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Illinois 2.6<br />
14.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Indiana (No data collected)<br />
15.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Iowa 2.6<br />
16.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Kansas 3.4<br />
17.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Kentucky 4.7<br />
18.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Louisiana 3.4<br />
19.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Maine 4.3<br />
20.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Maryland 3.0<br />
21.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Massachusetts 2.3<br />
22.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Michigan 3.4<br />
23.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Minnesota 2.8<br />
24.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Mississippi 4.5<br />
25.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Missouri 3.8<br />
26.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Montana 4.1<br />
27.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Nebraska 3.5<br />
28.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Nevada 6.5<br />
29.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>New Hampshire 3.8<br />
30.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>New Jersey 3.0<br />
31.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>New Mexico 4.3<br />
32.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>New York 2.9<br />
33.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>North Carolina 4.0<br />
34.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>North Dakota 3.0<br />
35.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Ohio 3.4<br />
36.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Oklahoma 5.2<br />
37.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Oregon 3.9<br />
38.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Pennsylvania 2.9<br />
39.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Rhode Island 2.8<br />
40.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>South Carolina 3.0<br />
41.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>South Dakota 3.1<br />
42.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Tennessee 4.3<br />
43.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Texas 3.3<br />
44.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Utah 3.6<br />
45.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Vermont 3.6<br />
46.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Virginia 3.8<br />
47.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Washington 4.0<br />
48.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>West Virginia 5.1<br />
49.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Wisconsin 2.9<br />
50.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Wyoming 5.0<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">i<i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal;"></span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i></i></div><i></i><br />
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</i></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></div></div></i></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-34387759547331341832011-01-24T13:42:00.003-05:002011-01-24T14:00:14.786-05:00Time To Give Back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">As most of you know I have tried my hardest to offer excellent family mediation services at a reasonable price which is why I offer my services at $180 an hour split between the parties for private mediation. In 2010, I took this one step further and decided to add another tier. The second tier is now to offer courthouse rates for private mediation to individuals that qualify. One thing that I do not offer and will continue not to offer is indigency status to a party in order to waive mediation fees. I find this unfair. For mediation, both parties must come to mediation and equally bear the cost of mediation to a neutral 3rd party. If one party has to pay and another does not is simply not fair. Not to mention, that many times when I worked in the courthouse, a party would come to mediation wearing $300 jeans, $150 designer shirt, $300 tennis shoes, carry a $350 designer purse or be wearing authentic designer shoes, yet they would ride the bus in order to have their fee waived. To add insult to injury, In mediation, this person, either male or female, would then claim they had no job and no money and therefore needed support, whether it be alimony or child support. I refuse to subscribe to such manipulation and dishonesty BUT there are times when individuals do need help. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">In late December 2010 I received a phone call from a law firm that I have done many mediations with and was asked if I knew anyone that would do pro bono family divorce mediation. They said they had called the court and couldn't get in for at least 3-4 months. They had called a few mediation companies and told absolutely not, no pro bono. In January 2011 I conducted the pro bono mediation for this firm. This couple had nothing. No home, no job, no possessions, no money and they needed help to move on and make sure that their children were taken care of. </div><div style="font: 14.0px 'Arial MT'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">I created iMediate Inc. to help families in crisis. Not every family can be saved. Not every family can be put back together, healed and restored. I believe, that just like for me many years ago, every individual needs to be helped but more importantly they need to be heard. If you want a safe place to resolve your conflict and a safe place to voice your pain and frustration and are willing to work through the issues in order to transition to the next phase of your life, then call us at 877.822.1479 to schedule your <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html"><span style="color: #2000ee; text-decoration: underline;">family law mediator</span></a> today or visit us online at iChatMediation.com.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i<i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="color: #561b8b;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i><br />
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<i><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></div></i></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-643047828944110295.post-69897231708274020562011-01-14T11:01:00.000-05:002011-01-14T11:01:22.858-05:00Mediation: Online v. In Person<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Is it better to meet in person or to mediate online to settle your disagreement or get divorced? </div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">I am finding more and more that conducting the<a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html"> family divorce mediation</a> virtually is faster, more cost effective and less emotional than to mediate in person.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">When I mediate In person, the parties have to sit across the table from one another and have to look at the person they no longer want to be around or even married to. They have to listen to the irritating sound of the other person's voice and every time they speak it adds to the irritation they already feel towards the entire process. Now, when I conduct mediation in person, the parties may not sit across the table from one another. They may actually be in different rooms and then I have to go back and forth from room to room relaying messages and trying to work things out without everyone in the same room. This is the MOST costly way to mediate and in my opinion the most ineffective overall. Many attorneys like this way of mediation though as it costs the clients more money which in turn makes the attorney more money. Other attorneys like this way because attorneys are trained to be adversarial. You put two attorneys in a room with their clients and use an INEFFECTIVE mediator that cannot control a room and it is truly a disaster. I for one can handle a room. I don't care where the mediation is being held whether it is in a law office, a courthouse or a neutral conference room. When parties come into my mediation……it's my room.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">Online is a completely different scenario then the one previously mention. Conducting your <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html">family divorce mediation</a> online has everyone separate yet together. It is truly a very surreal situation where each party can sit comfortably in their own home at a time when they choose. It can be a Sunday afternoon at 2PM or Thursday night at 7PM. Everyone is safe. Everyone can be heard and the issues can get settled. Whether in person or online, I still control the atmosphere. I can mute a party if they get out of control and I can even meet with a party privately if need be just like I can when mediating in person. Due to the surreal factor, it is not so bad to look at the other party or hear them as you will most likely be focussing on the creation of the document as we discuss the issues. Unlike mediation in person where you look at the other party or myself while the I draft your documents, online you get to see everyone in a little video window and you can watch me type your agreement in real time. This cuts down on time and saves you a lot of money. There is no relaying messages back and forth costing more money and spending more time. There is simply less emotion and thus it is easier to move forward with the process and settle the issues. The only thing you need to conduct mediation online is a computer with Internet access, an email address and a webcam with a built in mic. </div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">In the end, the choice is yours. Choose which method my work for you and your spouse, whether in person or online and give us a call at 877.822.1479 to schedule your <a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/family-law-mediation.html">family divorce mediation</a> today.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>Chat Mediation invites you to come and learn more about having either your divorce conducted by one of our State Supreme Court Certified mediators or how you can become part of the most cutting edge virtual companies in the world. To learn more visit us online at </i><a href="http://www.ichatmediation.com/"><span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica;"><i>http://www.ichatmediation.com</i></span></a><i> or call us at 877-822-1479.</i></span></div></div></div></div><div style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div></div></div></div><div style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 14px/normal 'Arial MT'; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b>In the words of Lawton Chiles, “I didn’t come to stay, I came to make a difference.”</b></span></div></div></div></div>iChatMediationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17804763541345968970noreply@blogger.com0